Diaries Dedicated to Deian

Dear Dee, I just watched Weathering With You!!! Sugoiii-desu!! I love how beautifully and it is so real for animations. I cried again...ij my heart. Ouh, I also completed season 1 of Haikyuu. Yosh!! I did trial for online class. It was such a hell to enter the group. I did numerous attempts like ughh it was so annoying. Iftar for today, macaronni, daging bakar, kambing bakar, sup gearbox, sup daging and kuih lopes!!! I am grateful for today. History been created today. In this RMO period, this is my first time to stay awake after Subuh. huhu proud of myself. love always, Rin

Dear Deian, Goodluck in finishing you video assessment. I wish I am busy as you so that I don't have much time to think of this heart break. I don't know but it hurts. I love her as my friend, I hate that this is the end of my friendship with her. I am lying if I didn't love her. I still want to keep her and treasure her as my close friends but my social energy is limited.  Maybe you are right . I should forget her. I should start studying tomorrow. I need to keep myself busy with things. I wanted to delete Snapchat, Twitter and Whatsapp.  I don't have appetite for like 2 days already. I accidentally practice intermittent fasting. Idk dee idk. I hate sadness. I think it's better crying over angst-y anime rather than crying for reality. I don't even feel the like the joy in watching k-drama or anime. I wanted to die. I want to end all of this but I still have a long list of unfinished anime and I need to khatam quran. The thought of dying keep appearing day by da...

Dear Deian, I don't really counts the quarantine days but someone said that it is already week 6 of quarantine. I am an introvert but this is just too much. I need to go out even just for 30 minutes. I crave for you know the view of crowds eventhough that was the last thing I want to see before this. I hate crowded places and a very hectic situation. I am on my 2nd book which called I have 25 Hours A Day. I read it because I need to to a book review. Sometimes, the urge to die comes but it is not that strong just like what I felt during PT3 phases. I don't know dee. Why on the earth people leave us? All we do is just kind to them. I always treat her everytime she cut her meal because she doesn't have enough money. I always be there when she is sad. I always be with her when it's dinner. Idk dee. IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT. She should just blame others and left them but not me. I feel this is so unfair and childish. Oh God my mind went blank. I don't know who to tru...