Diary 8

Dear Deian,
I don't really counts the quarantine days but someone said that it is already week 6 of quarantine. I am an introvert but this is just too much. I need to go out even just for 30 minutes. I crave for you know the view of crowds eventhough that was the last thing I want to see before this. I hate crowded places and a very hectic situation.

I am on my 2nd book which called I have 25 Hours A Day. I read it because I need to to a book review.

Sometimes, the urge to die comes but it is not that strong just like what I felt during PT3 phases. I don't know dee.

Why on the earth people leave us? All we do is just kind to them. I always treat her everytime she cut her meal because she doesn't have enough money. I always be there when she is sad. I always be with her when it's dinner. Idk dee.

IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT. She should just blame others and left them but not me. I feel this is so unfair and childish. Oh God my mind went blank.

I don't know who to trust anymore in cfs. I barely made a lot of friends because I'm scared this will happen. I just wished I am okay being alone.

goodnight dee

21.4.2020

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