Dear Deian, I don't really counts the quarantine days but someone said that it is already week 6 of quarantine. I am an introvert but this is just too much. I need to go out even just for 30 minutes. I crave for you know the view of crowds eventhough that was the last thing I want to see before this. I hate crowded places and a very hectic situation. I am on my 2nd book which called I have 25 Hours A Day. I read it because I need to to a book review. Sometimes, the urge to die comes but it is not that strong just like what I felt during PT3 phases. I don't know dee. Why on the earth people leave us? All we do is just kind to them. I always treat her everytime she cut her meal because she doesn't have enough money. I always be there when she is sad. I always be with her when it's dinner. Idk dee. IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT. She should just blame others and left them but not me. I feel this is so unfair and childish. Oh God my mind went blank. I don't know who to tru...
Dear Deian, Today, I cook fried rice and cucur manis bcos I feel that I wanted to. When I'm thinking on to decline doing something here, I will rethinking again. Does it worth it? Won't you miss doing this when you return back there? This is your chance to actually cook something. So, I be like yea. I can cook what ever that I wanted to eat. No more voltan issues. I have reread my novels and I remember well the character and the plot because I read it millions of time. Maybe I need to do the same to my law subject. Read it regularly in order for me to memorize all the fact. I am so scared. I got a memo that final result will be announce on 15 November. 2 Days before I return back to CFS. I am scared that I might not get good result because only I know how I did back then. I did bad for finals. I am scared that I barely can answer all the paper. I want to get exempted for both language. I dont want to go for language classes anymore. It is so tiring and stressful. I hope I am t...
Dear Deian, Goodluck in finishing you video assessment. I wish I am busy as you so that I don't have much time to think of this heart break. I don't know but it hurts. I love her as my friend, I hate that this is the end of my friendship with her. I am lying if I didn't love her. I still want to keep her and treasure her as my close friends but my social energy is limited. Maybe you are right . I should forget her. I should start studying tomorrow. I need to keep myself busy with things. I wanted to delete Snapchat, Twitter and Whatsapp. I don't have appetite for like 2 days already. I accidentally practice intermittent fasting. Idk dee idk. I hate sadness. I think it's better crying over angst-y anime rather than crying for reality. I don't even feel the like the joy in watching k-drama or anime. I wanted to die. I want to end all of this but I still have a long list of unfinished anime and I need to khatam quran. The thought of dying keep appearing day by da...
Comments